I just received an email from my friend (thanks K.), and personally I found it funny. Although 90% of my life revolves around food XD, but there is still that 10% of something else, and today's I will share a little bit of that 10%.
People say laughter is the best medicine, and I know now can be hectic time for student who have exams and employee who has a deadline to meet. So here is a good dose of 'medicine' for you stressed out employee/students.
1.I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2.War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
3.Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
4.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
5.I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
6.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
7.Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
8.I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
9.Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
10.A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it
11.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
12.Birthdays are nice to have, but too many of them can kill you.
13.I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14.Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
15.Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
16.Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.